Transcribed with Whisper from the original audio, so nothing is masked. Names corrected. Published in full, as spoken, so it can be read, searched and quoted. Search every transcript →
0:00I want to get this. I turned it on again. Alright, no, it’s not there. It’s not there. It’s a living thing. Yeah, it’s literally, it’s all this is all in the past right now. But no, I completely get like that quietness. Something I wanted to ask you, how do you break the silence?
0:15That’s the thing. I don’t feel like me too, honestly. I truly don’t feel there’s any meaning. If I, if something in me, if my mind and body both align, and it’s like, oh, I’m genuinely, genuinely curious about learning more about so-and-so and everything is connecting, then yeah, I’m going to say something. But if my mind is just telling me like, oh my gosh, so-and-so said this, you’ve got to fulfill their ego or you’ve got to, you’ve got to like delve deeper, but like, truthfully, I don’t fucking care. there’s power yeah, but like if my body is like kind of like if I’m like if I’m like reaching in and if I’m like
0:56getting you know like all right I’m genuinely interested because there’s two things you know I’m like very like oh cool really no you don’t say oh how about that you know it’s very artificial like oh okay just going with emotions it’s not real it’s no literally and that’s my go-to oh okay I can hear it too. You can hear it. You can so hear it. It’s like go away. Go the fuck away. Yeah, it’s just like I’m literally doing this for you. I truly don’t give a fuck though. But if I’m genuinely interested in something and I’ll make my eye contact, I’m like, oh, really? Tell me more. So how did you feel? What brought you to this? What was going on? It’s the what and how questions that are really thought provoking questions.
1:41If you start a question with like, what is it, I think how is the biggest indicator, just like a binary answer, like, or not how, you know, some word out there that is slipping my tongue right now. Binary answer. Yeah, just a yes and a no. That means I don’t give a fuck. If you’re giving me a binary answer, I don’t give a fuck. I think a why is a genuine thing Yeah, a why, yeah, exactly, the why is the biggest, I owe you, and sometimes why, that’s the biggest one, why, why are you feeling this way, that will create stories and a genuine connection, and then that’s when my body is reacting, my mind is reacting, every part of kale is reacting, every part of kale is reacting, all my parts, that’s the other thing, I feel like that’s an acronym, kale is an acronym
2:33Somewhere Yeah, I don’t know, we’re just conventional, and a fruit But I And a human being And a human being And an alien, and a life-form, and a creature An artist And a star, and a creator And I mean so many things Like I really, not knowing, I hate labels I hate just saying I’m I’m this or that Growing up I
3:01My Family Struggled With Mental Illness And Alcohol And Drug Addiction And My Mom She’s Been In Rehab More Than I Have Fingers And She Was Always Looking For That Next Diagnosis Like Oh I Have Bipolar Or I Have Depression Or I Have anxiety Yeah Something Is Wrong With Me And It’s Like No Nothing Is Wrong We all have different brains, and that’s what’s so beautiful about life. We all have a different way. We all have different experiences. We’ve all been through different shit. If we’ve all been through the same exact things, it would be so fucking boring. And I’m not trying to bring me too down here.
3:52You’re all good. But, yeah, unfortunately, my mom, she did This is authentic, no ma’am, no soul Yeah, no, no ma’am With a camera, who are you? Are you Kale? There’s no camera here, I’m just Kale, talking to myself Because I’m my own best friend and I love talking to myself It’s my most favorite conversation, just talking to myself in the wall No, talking to Kale But no, unfortunately, my mother, she didn’t do this for battle with mental illness and she took her life about two years ago now, actually, yeah, about to be two years in less than a month now, and that’s, thank you, I, yeah, I mean, it’s, thanks for sharing
4:34that with us, yeah, it’s, thanks for listening, um, it’s, it’s definitely been the hardest thing I’ve ever found through in my life, and it’s put me through this big depression I’ve ever been through, all I did was drink and smoke and mask my pain and not heal with my trauma but yeah I’m just like now I’m like you know what I it made me who I am here and I just like so appreciate life now and Sarah with an H and I mean she was she was such a vibe and she truly was such a bright light in such a dark room and she she loved the
5:19connections with people and just getting to know people and like genuinely getting to know people, not listening to your binary answers, but listening to your story. What are you here for? What is your, why are you here on earth? And even if you didn’t know at that time, whatever, she didn’t know what her whole, yeah, I don’t think she truly knew what her reason for being here on this planet was. and many different people told her you’re here to be a mom of four, the oldest of four siblings you’re here to be a mom, you’re here to be a deadhead, you’re here to cook for the rest of your life
6:07so many different people told her things that I don’t think it’s like Jack Nicholson in anger management Who are you? Well, I’m a dad, and now who are you? Yeah, who are you? Like, no, who are you to others who are you? What makes you you? And I don’t think my mom is ever comfortable answering that question. She just couldn’t. It was just like, it was just, it fried her brain, honestly. Whenever anybody, because she, yeah, she genuinely did not know who she was. She was someone, though. She was someone. She was, she was a lot, she was a lot of people. and I don’t think she even realized that in herself and I think I mean yeah my mom she went through a lot in life a lot of abuse and neglect yeah just a lot but she didn’t like I mean I want to say she didn’t let it define her but I think it did where you know she was like I’m a strong woman I can do anything I can be a mom I can do this and that’s true and yeah it’s totally true but I don’t know
7:17Well, she fully felt it, because her past really came into play, a lot. She could only just enter her mind and not her body, and her body was in pain a lot. She had to diagnose fibromyalgia and a lot of other things, but she let that define her. She was like, oh, I have fibromyalgia, therefore I’m in pain 24-7, and I can’t be anyone else but this person in pain. That’s all I am, is someone in pain. She took her pills or whatever to make her move down to that base level where maybe she could be Sarah, her authentic Sarah.
8:02But she never, the pills just mask that true Sarah. It wasn’t ever truly Sarah. It’s like pills, I have such a hard time with pills A lot of people told me I should take them, I tried them I realized, holy shit, I’m not getting anywhere with this It’s getting worse No way And you become so robotic So, yeah, back to the automatic thing Yeah, I’ve been on so many different pills in my life I couldn’t even begin to And it comes down to A lot What’s the one thing that fixes it without pills? Like you were saying Who Are You and doing the thing with you, like doing the thing that you do, it kind of fixes, it doesn’t fix everything, but fixes the part where you need to build
8:53Just being okay with yourself in the now, it’s just so much, we’ve been, every single human has been through so much, all of our experiences, like how does one person even take all of that in, you know There’s so much going on. So much to integrate. Like, he’s asking me, other people ask me, how was your day, what’s going on? I’m like, if I tell you, if I bring this up in my own head, it’s going to completely fuck up every year on the earth. As much as I want to tell you, yeah, where do I begin? Like, can we just do what we were meant to do today, please?
9:34And that’s the thing, like, we’re, yeah, we, I just, I want to get back to the automation.
9:41I don’t have to work 10 times harder because it’s very uncomfortable. We’re very comfortable with just like living in our comfort zone and like breaking out of that comfort zone is very uncomfortable. Like dealing with your trauma, dealing with your past.
10:12Yeah, and that’s okay, and there’s, and that’s okay, if your brain and body wasn’t ready for it, then it wasn’t, it would have had me bumped up Yeah, and you cannot force it, and You can’t, that’s true You know what you know right now when you need to know it Yeah
10:32I have a very hard time with my memory and I don’t remember a lot of my past, whether it be from the drugs or alcohol or trauma, who’s to say. But also, here’s another food for thought. We see 24 frames per second, right? I’m sure you guys know that. I didn’t I didn’t I didn’t know that Pictures Second
10:58Remember all that all the friends all those photos one day you can
11:07Is at one point I thought I saw Like a glimpse into 60 like what everything is without without the motion blur It’s like, that’s so weird. That is so weird. It’s like, now I understand why the brain was set up that way for a reason, because it’s more alive. It’s more like alive. But if you’re a 60 person, you’d feel like a freaking camera. You’d feel like a weird, slow motion camera. Not slow motion, actually more fast. Instead of having a blur, you’d just see it, not the blur. That’s freaking it. It’s, yeah, that’s kind of why I love psychedelics, because you very much get in that mindset where you see every single thing you bring.
11:52I don’t know, what was I saying? I had a really big point that I... You keep sidetracking. You said a lot, and it’s like, thank you, you know, I don’t know. Yeah, no, I just, you know, I don’t know. I think people just care too much about what others think of them, and I think we just stop that. You were just speaking about how much we experience in the course of our lifetimes, right? And to be able to integrate, to be able to really make peace with all of those things and still experience some freedom and ease, right? And not feel anxious or overwhelmed or, like, afraid.
12:22It’s acceptance. It’s just acceptance. And that is really the first step, and it is the hardest step. By far, the hardest step. If you go back and forth, it’s hard to actually accept. you’ll accept it in a moment, then you won’t accept it later, then you’ll accept it again, then you won’t accept it. Yeah, but even if you don’t accept it now, again going back to like don’t force anything. Not like your body will tell you, listen to your body. Your body will literally put tension in places. You’re getting out of your gut. Yeah, your gut is your second brain, almost stronger than your brain at times.
13:02But sometimes it’s also just informed by trauma, right, it’s not always, sometimes it’s reacting to what it perceives as a threat, when such a threat might not ever be there, too, so I think sometimes it’s about respecting your body, trusting it’s also just about respecting, like, I know my body right now is having this overwhelming reaction, or it’s in a freeze mode, you know, and there’s nothing wrong with your freeze mode body, and sometimes it’s hard to not feel that way. Sometimes I’ll be like, I shouldn’t be doing this, and then it turns out to be this thing I shouldn’t be doing But, there’s also, you have to, there’s times when you’re like, I know this is not chill, and like, whether you’re not going to be bad for me, like, physically or, but it’s like, I am wasting the whole time of who I am
13:43Yeah Why am I doing this? You’re like, here, we’ll be doing it for other people, and you’re like, I shouldn’t be doing this for other people Yeah
13:55yeah and yeah I mean to be honest I don’t I don’t know if I believe I don’t know if I believe in the word waste I think I unless you abuse nothing no what do you want to say though what do you want to say I just I I truly think the universe has everything like I whatever that may What they mean to you, if that’s a higher power, if that’s your god, if that’s many gods, whatever, there’s definitely a higher power, somewhat, yeah, but I truly, like, I, you are in control of what you’re in control of, you know, but like, sorry, but I believe somewhat of this, you just let her finish her statement though, let her finish, let her finish, it’s okay, I, yes, you can spend your whole day doing scrolling,
14:46And Playing Video Games And Doing This Brain Rot Shit Whatever And It’s Not You Know You May Think That You’re Not Getting Anything From It But There’s Probably Something In There Somewhere That You Are Going To Remember Some Little Thing Like I’m Not Gonna Lie I Doomscroll A lot All The Time I Mean I Don’t Even Want To Think About How Many Hours I Spent On My Phone It’s Sad Really I Mean Yeah it makes me sad to think about, but I get something out of it. It might be the smallest little thing, but it might be one TikTok video or silly little meme that I see that in the moment I’m not thinking of, just something that I see in that moment that I will take with me in the future. Again, I’m not thinking of it at that moment. There are so many times I’m like, oh my God, I just spent so many hours.
15:46looking at my phone, then the next day my co-worker, friend, family member, whomever, some random person maybe even, will bring something up where I’m like, oh my god, I literally saw this yesterday on my phone, like I saw this, like I know what you’re talking about, and then you’re able to have a conversation with whatever, with something that maybe you never even thought you could have a conversation with, but since you just saw that stupid little video for 10 seconds it did something in your brain and to be honest most of it 99% of it I don’t remember I feel like it’s kind of diluting culture though by creating these like artificial shared experiences
16:28I feel like it is diluting some of the meaningfulness of those things like memes or what are memes replacing the ritual Yeah, yeah, thank you. Okay. Yeah, just let’s just let it just let it sit. It’s cool, but But yeah, I won’t even take us off on some philosophical tangent at this moment But I wanted to hear you talk about your art and yourself as a stop-motion artist and VFX Like I said, this is you kind of introducing yourself to our lore as a creator-driven agency Yeah, well, hello out there, all y’all out there
17:11Hello everyone, my name is Kale, I’d like to think of myself as a creative, I mean I think everybody is creative at heart, my main passion in life is definitely animation and seeing life frame by frame, photography as well, my bread and butter, for sure like stop-motion with a little bit of VFX in there. I love me some practical VFX, you know life is all about a balance, and I know that we’re no longer in the 80s, and it’s not all camera work, and we do have to rely on our robots and technology. I respect the robots, I don’t want to make them too mad, so they don’t overturn.
18:02Yeah, you don’t want them coming for you, right? Exactly. You don’t want to be on the list. Yeah, I don’t want to be on anybody’s list. Um, yeah, I used to work in GFX right out of school for three years for a company called Love of GFX. Um, and, yeah, we specialize in, uh, hang on, sorry, pause. I don’t know how much I can say about this company. Well, you can, like, skip, like, skip to what you feel comfortable saying. The video will not be edited, so just like don’t say stuff you don’t want to say. So this is perfect I used to work for a VFX company, super fun. I used to work on Hollywood films, Got My Name and Mission Impossible Part 1, Part 2
18:50What? Marvel movies, I don’t know, it’s fancy Marvel? Big time, big time Yeah, it was pretty cool, it was pretty cool Trad artist Yeah, it’s Yeah, it was it was pretty fun stuff
19:19Terms like opportune moment
19:33Oh my, yeah, that was actually, that was at Field of Vision, my boy is King Gizzy Um, but yeah, I, sorry, it’s really hard for me to like admit that I’m a creative because I didn’t believe it for such a long time and I just kind of, I just made art for me and, uh, yeah, I would make it when I’m angry or when I was sad or, uh, it was my and I release for a really long time and I think everybody needs to release our, everybody has a different term for it, but I just, I call it your metal, you know, life is all about
20:16a balance, you are in your fluid state and you’re in your very mechanical, rigid state and you just kind of want to come together and live in that grey zone and sometimes I I can be really up here and just silly, laughy, goofy, not giving a fuck about the world, you know, have to be brought back down and I gotta release that metal or alkaline or rigidness or whatever. And yeah, art creating was a big part of that for me. I grew up a lot with ceramics and throwing on the wheel and additive ceramics, just like adding little pieces, sort of like so much so I have another question yeah if you can work what’s like the dream kind of stuff you want to work on
21:04But where’s the destination or what’s the journey rather
21:16Okay, yeah
21:22Okay, we appreciate that invitation yeah, it is It’s getting a little chilly Gosh, what is my dream? Where’s the gentleman in me? I’m like, I’m putting on the zip of my coat I can say you want to sit inside? But I guess it was louder before, but continue It’s quite loud in there You know, this is a really hard question for me Because I think about this every single day Where do I want to be with my art? You get the spitball though, you know, there’s no like real destination, right? They’re just like, the universe will take you where it’s gonna take you at the end of the day
21:59The universe will take you where it takes me and we’re so money driven, you know, we’re always, here’s a memory that just popped up, you know, with my boys playing right here, it’s perfect, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, I saw them at Field of Vision last year in beautiful Buena Vista, Colorado, and it was a really, it was a very difficult time for me, this was the first show I had ever done by myself, completely solo, first festival I’ve ever even been to also no that’s it yeah I just gotten out of a serious breakup I had just moved back to Colorado I had just sold my
22:42house oh wow own a house my VFX jobs pay me very nicely but everything just completely turned upside down started completely from the bottom bottom the The only way you can go is up. But I haven’t created anything at this point for so long. It’s probably like six months at this point. Never picked up a paintbrush, a pen, pencil, whatever. Nothing. It was very automatic. Go home. Play video games. Probably get drunk. I wasn’t creating anything. Then I went to this show and I... The first night was very rough, I’m not gonna lie. I did not like it. I struggled in many different ways. setting up a tent all by myself. Very difficult setting up a 10-person tent with one person.
23:34Yeah, that’s insane. And also it was raining and it was windy. It was horrible. I literally, I was like two hours in and I was like, you know what, I think I’m just going to go home. I’d have just gotten in my car and turned on the heat and said, I’ll see you in the morning. But I just like, something told me, the universe told me like, hey, just stick with it. Something’s out there for you. I was like, all right. Better than me. I guess fine, I’ll stick with it I mean the first night was horrible I’m not even going to get into that right now
24:03But you know that it was horrible But then the second day I woke up And it was such a bright day Not a cloud in the sky And I felt so alive And I was like, you know what I’m just going to listen to my boys, King Gizzy I’m just going to start making art I’m just going to start sketching and I did and I sketched for hours and hours and hours and filled a whole notebook just filled with shit. I mean actually some of not shit that’s yeah I mean it is shit but it was it’s good shit healthy shit but I just I anything that was in my head or I was you know having conversations with the universe I’d like write a question and like look up listen to the universe she would tell me something like write a
24:54down and have a question right down and it’s just like it’s full feedback system and what was I getting to? Fuck, I had a really good point in fits. Yeah, I just like started, oh, money, that’s what I was getting to. I was creating and I filled a whole sketchbook filled with just like Posca markers, very vibrant colors, very like psychedelic art. These people came by me and they like saw what I was working on and I probably looked like a crazy person I mean, I literally had paint splattered all around me Perfect place, Nick Yeah, like I literally was just like, nobody talk to me, I’m like Bob Ross right now
25:37But somebody like took me out of my like flow And they’re like, oh my gosh, dude, cool art, you should sell that And I You know, I was like Yeah, I just like had such a Such a weird feeling Such a different feeling I’ve never had And I was like, hey, you know what I appreciate what you’re saying I know what you’re saying, you’re saying this art is like So cool and so People want this But you know, I just like, you know I had to be grateful in that moment You know what, I hear you But this is for me right now This is not for monetary value
26:14I’m not trying to get anything out of this. I’m not trying to make a quick. It’s my release. I just want to release Exactly, I just want to get my metal out of me You know, it was just like a quick like thank you I see you but I got to do me and I went like right back into it. I don’t care what y’all think But like old me would have never been like that like I would have been like yeah You’re so right like I could sell this for ten bucks like hey everybody get get your hey Hey, one of a one kind, Kale, print here, right here, hot and ready to go.
26:51You got so much energy. The screen is waiting for you. Hey, screen. But that’s just like, that’s not what I’m about. I think money is truly the root of all people. And my whole family, they’ve kind of struggled with money and are very much like, how are we going to make a quick buck? My grandma, she loves to go to garage sales and find something for a dime and flip it for a dollar She’s the original Gary Vee She very much is
27:25I grew up with it and I respect it I understand that the world we live in, we do have to make money somehow and income somehow And I’ve accepted it But I’m not gonna force it Yeah You Know and I’m not gonna Well it’s perfect we just met up and like Synchronicity universe just working She works in mysterious ways And I think that’s why I really Had a difficult time I might be When I was working for my VFX studio So I’d put all My creative energy and juices In doing What the client the director Whomever told me what to do Give me notes and then I’d get home and I’d have no energy, no motivation to create anything for myself.
28:11It was all like, okay, how can I make money off of my art? A speeding Mini Cooper wasn’t on my list. Very Italian job. Never seen that before, I checked that off the list. But yeah, I know I did not like creating art for such a... I just had no satisfaction for many years because I put all my energy into my job and making a quick buck and yeah it just wasn’t enjoyable art wasn’t enjoyable for me for a long time but yeah now I’m at a point where I’m just you know working a minimum wage kitchen job job where I’m vibing I love the people I work with I’m not so trained at the end of the day and I can go home and I do my doodles I
